documentation of the self (and why i love autobio)
i have amassed 9 years worth of self-portraits! it feels weird to acknowledge the passing of time
alternative title: my art style progression
2016 marked a big transition in my life: i moved to the city
i was surrounded by new people, learning a new language, and navigating a new place. it was a potluck of experiences i wouldn’t have had access to had i stayed back home, and the novelty of it makes me want to document it in some way
i've documented myself diligently for more than a decade: my adolescence captured in the pages of several journals, spanning years of self-loathing written in real-time. those were still painful to read, even as i continue to distance myself from it
if i want to revisit these memories without cringing, i had to find other ways aside from writing it down. coincidentally, i learned about autobio comics
by the end of the year, i started making my own.
on drawing yourself
some of my first autobio comics circa 2016-2017
prior to 2016, i haven’t actually drawn myself. the amount of hate i had for my own appearance was too much for me to even consider it as an option.
until i had the realization that art doesn’t have to be realistic in order to be meaningful. by that, i mean that while none of these self-portraits look like me, they definitely feel like me
and this means a lot to someone who hates looking at herself! somehow, i found a way around the self-loathing i've been doing for years. making art seems to be more forgiving and less judgmental compared to having my picture taken
the relief was palpable.
with writing, it was easy for my anger to build up and spill over the pages. but drawing autobio forces me to focus on what happened and what i actually like about it, rather than dwell on what made me feel bad.
two panels from my 2023 Hourly Comics
over the years, i end up highlighting parts of me with a little less shame. features like eyebags, unruly hair, short height, and even my weight are gradually depicted positively in my self-portraits.
these are small details that i have the pleasure of adding, even when i’m the only one who notices them
this one’s my fave
recommended autobio
here are some that i can remember right now. hopefully this list continues to grow!
- hyperbole and a half by allie brosh
- that it felt like this by sara goetter
- stephen neary’s comics on IG
- hierbutaujourdhui’s comics on IG
- lucy knisley’s hourly comics
- michelle lam’s comics on IG
- fellas, do you ever had a thought? by vehementa
- coni yovaniniz' hourly comics
- run by joy san
if you have some in mind you like to recommend, send them to my email polvoronii.art@gmail!