If I have a nickel for every time someone describes me as Korean-looking, I’d have two nickels

30 Nov, 2025

Which, you know, isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.¹

Isn’t it strange how we associate certain traits to specific ethnic groups even if there is no (verified) connection to said ethnic identity within the family? At least according to my parents’ grandparents’ stories of their origins, albeit limited. Actually, even if there is, it’s not really the point.

I’ve been told, on two separate occasions, by two unrelated people, that I look Korean. ² What does that even mean, to look like someone from a specific ethnic group? I’m guessing that it’s because of of my eye shape, my usual hairstyle, my small figure, and my relatively fair skin? All those factors combined may have led others to the conclusion that I look like something that I’m not. I don't mind that.

I understand from the implication that it’s meant to be taken as a compliment. What I don’t understand is why.

It makes me wonder how Filipino features continue to be perceived as undesirable even within among Filipinos themselves. Big lips. A non-prominent chin. A short stature. Fair skin. And most prominently, a wide, flat nose.

I grew up from my mother teaching me strategies to “naturally” make my nose look longer, or as it is called in my mother language, “Taliwtiw.” In the same vein, I grew up wondering if there is something wrong with my nose to warrant such drastic change. Sometimes I still do one of the strategies as a habit — it just involves massaging my nose in a certain way.

It goes to show how deeply ingrained it is within our psyche, and I notice the same subconscious bias within myself as well. A baby born from a Filipino parent and non-Filipino parent is considered attractive for the mix of physical traits, especially when said traits highly favor those of the non-Filipino parent. In my local language, that would be called, “Liwat.”

Is it supposed to be a compliment that I have features that make me look “less” Filipino, and therefore, that makes me more attractive? I don’t think so. The notion makes me uncomfortable. And yet I find myself subconsciously taking steps to 'maintain' some of those features: my weight, my skin color, specifically. Colorism is another beast of its own that I’ll be tackling in another time.

I don’t know how to conclude this. I just want to go beyond valuing physical appearances, knowing that it will change throughout time. What’s important to me right now is to continue cultivating my sense of self even as I go through those changes, even as I’m perceived as 'less' attractive, and just not having to maintain anything in the first place for that external validation.

this week's shinies ⋆˚࿔

Actually, these are from last week. But maybe I’ll revisit them again this week, who knows!

• My reading list is mostly comprised of what’s recommended by Hannah Witton, a content creator whose stuff I’ve been enjoying lately. These are mostly articles on parenting, like how to include kids without centering them and how can childfree and parent friends can show up for each other. I’m not a parent myself, having my own complicated feelings towards pregnancy and parenthood, but I’m interested in learning more about these experiences, especially from parents themselves.

• I remember from a post I saw on IG (that I forgot which) that it used a song I was curious about. That song was Parallelograms by Linda Perhacs. I discovered it was a whole album, and Chimacum Rain was the one I loved the most.

• From a reel on IG that I also forgot which³, I learned about three websites: Radio Garden (listen to radio stations across the globe), My Retro TV (watch TV shows, commercials, movies, from the 70s), and Loecsen (a language learning platform).

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#2025 #blog #life