mini thoughts
just a couple of random thoughts that feel like they're too long to be statuses, but also too short to be posts on their own!
re: lowercase ⋆˚࿔
i like writing in lowercase. last year, i was worried about being perceived as un-serious (???). now it's just too silly to even consider! i've been learning (and unlearning) a lot of self-imposed rules throughout the past year, and realizing that some may be more reflective of my current environment. anyway, the lack of capitalization should not dictate the value of my words, nor of others.
also, it just looks cuter!
re: impatience ⋆˚࿔
last weekend, i had conversations with my friends and partner about where i am currently, and where i want to go towards. there are a lot of things to consider -- those factors almost feel like an excuse in itself to remain stuck. but perhaps that's just my impatience revealing itself. 16 months feels like a terribly long time to me right now, but maybe it's what i need.
re: rebellions ⋆˚࿔
i've been going through these "mini-rebellions" against myself, against what i need to do. these "rebellions" are mostly related to working overtime. and even when i know now that it brings me more joy and energy to use my non-working hours for making art than to continue working to tick off tasks (and still end up with a lot more to do), even then, i still work overtime.
not sure what to do from here except for just...buckling in until it's "over". there's still work to do, and it's needed soon, and i don't have time to do it tomorrow if i postpone it.
may this dread not consume me.