imperative reminder for the self
i find it funny1 that i didn't even get to write 4 posts for blaugust (oops). i wonder what will make it easier for me to write: a penalty? a better routine? a reason to actually write? integrating writing with drawing? or could it be simply letting go of the desire for perfection with my creative pursuits??? (i know the answer is a combination of all of these, sans the first one)
for some time now, i noticed that the tendency of being mean to myself increases the more i stay unemployed. i would like to be less mean to myself, even with unemployment. and i would like to be employed again, even when it's not the kind of work i set out to do.2
seeing journaling as a hobby online makes me think about my own journaling practices in ways that i feel a bit insecure about. but isn't it silly to feel insecure about...not decorating my journal? about not having a leather folio to compile the journals i use? what's up with that??? i didn't start using a journal just to share it with others. all this just to say that it's imperative for me to stop scrolling on instagram again3. yes, i know the DIY journal covers are very cute. no, you cannot to afford to buy a mesh bag and eyelet puncher right now.
i looked up if there's a word that describes a situation as both funny and sad. not satisfied with the ones i found, though.↩
the kind of work that i am setting out to pursue is something that i'm technically doing full-time since the start of my unemployment. just with no steady stream of income. i know this comes with freelancing, but oh!↩
how many more years do i need to say this before something needs to change↩